I went to the mall a couple of days ago. My wife thought it would be good to get out of the house and ease the tension creeping in due to the impending bike ride. I didn't realize that the "heebie-jeebies" I was starting to feel were showing. So, we had a nice drive up to the mall and went in and walked around. We went to well known sporting goods store and made a few last minute bike trip purchases. As the checkout guy handed us our packages, my wife said "where are the keys?". I knew that I didn't have them and the checkout guy said he didn't have them. Oh no... I saw "the look" on my wife's face. That sick look that comes with the realization that this is going to be bad. So, we retraced our steps in the store and at each stopping place the look became more desperate and sickly looking. So, we basically just went backwards backtracking back to the car. I could see my wife was nearly in tears. I, of course, said all the wrong things. So, I thought the keys would be still in the ignition with locked doors, of course. So, I just waited on a bench just inside the entrance to the mall. I watched expectantly as she strode towards the car. I saw her turn back toward me, after reaching the car, twirling the keys on her finger. I just sighed. She looked relieved. She told me they were in the door lock, just hanging there like ripe fruit begging to be picked. As we drove, a little quieter, she said this is how God takes care of us. As we were walking into the next stop, she said to me, tearfully,"What would you do if I had Alzheimers?" I didn't miss a beat and replied "I would take care of you." This has been haunting me for two days and I can't seem to get it out of my head.I am aware of the reality as I am quite forgetful and often think how devastating the disease of dementia is on families. It makes me think of the story of a man whose wife was afflicted with Alzheimers disease and was confined to a nursing home. He religiously visited her every day without fail. One day he was in an auto accident and in the ER was panicked he was late for his daily visit to his wife. The doctor said," Relax, she doesn't even know if you're there or not..." He replied," Yes, that's true but I know." That's what "to have and to hold" means.
